LEGALFREETOAIR.COM

LEGALFREETAIR.COM PLAYGROUND => Jokes/Humor => Topic started by: mengram on Aug 15 2017 12:59:19



Title: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: mengram on Aug 15 2017 12:59:19
An elderly woman died last month.

Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.

In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: mengram on Aug 15 2017 01:03:02
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, ' Johnny, what is the matter?'

Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side.

I think I'm going to have a wife.'  ::smiley


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: mengram on Aug 15 2017 01:05:44
You don't stop laughing because you grow old...

You grow old because you stop laughing!

Take heed and pass these along to people who need a laugh.

I thought you would enjoy this...times are tough right now...for all of us...so we need something to make the day a happy place.

"They" haven't found a way to tax you for laughing yet! ::amen


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on Sep 17 2017 08:56:28
Thanks for starting this thread mengram! Here is one:


A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men.

He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day.
      
His wife thought about this for a while.

She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
      
Her husband looked stunned.

He said "What?"



 ::dance


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on Oct 05 2019 10:14:36
Marriage and Coffee

Shortly after tying the knot, a young married couple started arguing over who should make the coffee.

Being a good Christian woman, the wife went to the scriptures for her answer.

She said that the Bible specifically stated that men should be the ones to make the coffee.

Puzzled, the husband asked her where in the Bible it said that.

Very confidently, the wife opened up her Bible and said: “It’s right here—HEBREWS.”


Wa-Wa-Wahhh


GONG




Title: Re: Jesus is watching you!
Post by: Hyper on Oct 28 2019 08:28:45

A burglar broke into a house one night.

While he was searching for valuables he heard a small voice say  "Jesus is watching you."

He stopped for a moment and said to himself this must be my imagination.

So he continued searching, about 5 minutes later he heard the voice again "Jesus is watching you."

He turned his flashlight to the direction and he saw a parrot.

He said to the parrot "What is your name?" The parrot replied "Moses".

The robber chuckled then said "What kind of silly people would name there parrot Moses?"

The parrot looked up and said "The same people who named the pitbull jesus!"



 ::grin




Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: joeroscoe1957 on Mar 22 2020 09:07:41
A Pastor shared he recently thought the rapture had taken place leaving him here behind .  It happened when he turned down the paper products aisle of his grocery store and seen the rolls had been called up yonder ,...


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: mengram on Mar 23 2020 10:01:35
A Pastor shared he recently thought the rapture had taken place leaving him here behind .  It happened when he turned down the paper products aisle of his grocery store and seen the rolls had been called up yonder ,...

 ::lol


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: skymaster on Apr 13 2020 11:21:31
what did the rug say to the floor?
i have you covered.

why did the skeleton cross the road? he didn have the guts to stick around.

ever read these new books?:
antlers in the treetops by who goosed moose.

i pee nightly by rusty bed springs.

holy rollers by bishop dice.

well i run out of stupid jokes

skymaster







Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on May 23 2020 08:56:45
I am so lazy i don't even type out a joke.

I just attach a picture.



 ::grin


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on May 28 2020 09:59:31



 ::humble


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: mengram on May 29 2020 09:44:03
 ::lol


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on Jun 29 2020 08:30:45
Amen


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: joeroscoe1957 on Jun 29 2020 10:02:16
Funny joke , great advice for these times !!


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on Aug 31 2020 08:06:39
 ::grin


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on Oct 26 2020 08:49:01
 ::grin


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: mengram on Oct 26 2020 11:43:25
 ::agree ::amen ::grin


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on Dec 14 2020 10:06:58
The Pastor asks his flock ......


Joke Here:


http://legalfreetoair.com/index.php?topic=49937.0


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: mengram on Dec 19 2020 03:40:22
I second that motion!


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on May 06 2021 06:45:49
Church Sign


 ::evil


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: El_Viejo on Jun 27 2021 09:19:45
What if…?

God couldn’t take the time to bless us today
because we could not take the time to thank Him yesterday

What if…?

God decided to stop leading us tomorrow
Because we didn’t follow Him today

What if…?

?
God didn’t walk with us today
because we failed to recognize it as His day


What if…?

We never saw another flower bloom
because we grumbled when God sent the rain

What if…?

God stopped loving and caring for us because
we failed to love and care for others

What if…?

God took away the Bible tomorrow
because we would not read it today

What if…?

God took away his message
because we failed to listen to His messenger

What if…?

God didn’t send His only begotten Son because
He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price of sin

What if…?

The door to the church was closed because
we did not open the door of our hearts

What if…?

God would not hear us today because
we would not listen to Him yesterday

What if…?

God answered our prayers the way we answer
His call to service

What if…?

God met our needs the way
we give Him our lives

Anonymous

What if…?


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on Nov 29 2021 05:22:39
I wish someone would buy me a 3D printer for Christmas .....


Title: Re: Jokes you can tell in Church!
Post by: Hyper on Jan 16 2022 06:36:10
Here's a good one i bet most of us can relate to